The Slumber Party Massacre (1982): You have to cut Jones’ slasher a lot of slacks if you must persuade yourself to sit through it. And even then, the VERY 80s run-of-the-mill slasher is a drunk night’s goofy watch at best.
What could’ve totally brought home the bacon and been a timeless classic had writer Rita Mae Brown’s idea of making it as a slasher parody not been passed up, winded up being an attempt that sullies the good name of slasher with production value so low even the wounds resemble Halloween makeup done by a 10-year-old.
But since you’re here and you’ve done your time (unless you have a very specific, peculiar taste), let’s get on with the power drill-wielding killer’s blood-soaked night.
The Slumber Party Massacre (1982) Plot Summary & Movie Synopsis:
Here you have your “in your face” acceptance of growth in the form of our protagonist Trish, realizing on the spur of the moment that she’s 18, therefore not a child anymore, and bagging up her toys to toss in the bin.
And, of course, the very day when notorious serial killer Russ Thorn has absconded is the day that Trish’s parents must go on a trip, leaving behind a young, party-minded daughter and suspending the responsibility of ascertaining her safety on neighbor Mr. Contant.
Thorn is out and about, scouring the area to pick out a girl to drill (you’re not cringing harder than I am), when after hearing what the worst pickup line in the history of clueless men is, a phone repair woman is yanked into her van to be drilled to death.
Next up is Trish’s classmate Linda, who, by the universe’s fateful design, goes back into the locker room to pick up a book she’d left behind and is made to bleed out in the shower by Thorn’s weapon.
If there’s one thing new girl Valerie has done right in her life, it’s turning down the lukewarm invite to the slumber party at Trish’s house. Not that she is with any better company, but being stuck at home with her younger sister Courtney whose obsession with getting her hair done, made me want to pull mine out.
A few doors down, even the beer and the pot couldn’t save the “party” that Trish was having with Diane, Kim, and Jackie. They’ve gone back and forth on their confusion regarding letting the boys join. But their decision to keep the party boy-free does nothing to stop Neil and Jeff from showing up right on time to creep on them from the window.
If there’s one way Mr. Contant does end up helping them, it is by being the first to die by Thorn’s drill when he is out hunting snails. What’s a trope-y slasher without a couple of horny teens turning out to be the universe’s least favorite?
When Diane’s boyfriend shows up, throws a tantrum, and asks her to bail on the party for some alone time, Diane leaves him in his car and goes into the house to seek permission from the host. If you were to place a bet on what happens next, you would stand a chance to win a king’s ransom. Diane comes back only to find her boyfriend’s bloody corpse in the car and then falls victim to the serial killer who, and I have to give him, knows his way around a drill.
Of course, the two guys couldn’t stay off the radar for too long, but Trish doesn’t seem to mind that they’re joining in. Just as one of the girls is on the line with coach Jana, Trish opens the door to get the pizza but gets a whole other treat instead.
The scream they let out is pretty mellow, considering the guy’s eyes have been drilled into, and he’s basically dead. Valerie knows better than to brave out in the dark of the night to check if Trish and her friends are okay, even though she does hear them scream. Why she doesn’t call the cops is a score you have to settle with the writer of this thing that barely qualifies as a movie.
Chivalry isn’t something the guys should’ve concerned themselves within the context of a psychotic murderer out on the loose. Jeff and Neil are made to hunt down the killer, and they take on the role of the dragon-slayer with no complaints.
While one survives about the human equivalent of a fruitfly’s lifespan, the other gets to Valerie’s door only to have his screams drowned out by the slasher film that’s been blasting on her TV. And apparently, there’s not a glum moment in Jackie’s life that can’t be fixed with food. As she chomps on the pizza the dead delivery guy has been lying on, Courtney has come over to show off her fancy new hairdo.
Valerie breaks her vow of steering clear of the party and comes over to fetch her little sister. And as everything must go the killer’s way, answering the door only makes Jackie fall victim to his weapon and sends Trish and Kim running upstairs to barricade themselves in Trish’s bedroom.
The Slumber Party Massacre (1982) Ending, Explained:
Who Kills Russ Thorn And How?
A film, so implausible that calling it far-fetched would be an understatement, has made the house where multiple killings have occurred appear ship-shape–to the point where when Valerie and Courtney come inside and look around, they find nothing suspicious.. Thorn has, through some dubious logic, managed to crawl through Trish’s window without them noticing.
By the time Trish and Kim do notice that they’re not without company and rush to haul the cupboards blocking the door, the killer has gotten to Kim. Trish has found a slight room to hide in the closet as Thorn, with the contentment he’s gotten of all the killings, finds it to be the right time and place to take a nap by the fireplace.
The peace of mind that Valerie and her sister have attained fails to last when Courtney finds Kim’s corpse in the closet, and the two attempt to flee. I don’t know whether to appreciate the gimmicky situational humor or condemn the obnoxious standards that are set by the ordeal. A girl that is small enough to fit in a refrigerator? I don’t think so, sir.
A refrigerator with enough space to hold a human inside? An even bigger blasphemy. But let’s get to the story since you’re already here. Courtney turns out to be the only one with a proper sense of survival as she confines herself under the couch while Valerie goes down to the basement to explore the tool-shed. Her heroic resolve to run out with a chainsaw fails when she realizes that the cord is too short.
How she doesn’t fall face first in the chainsaw is another unbelievable phenomenon making the movie hilarious, given you’re watching it in a good mood. Like cops in any slasher, really, Coach Jana shows up only after most of the girls have already been killed. I would’ve given you two guesses about what transpires next had I not been sure that you would be able to get it right even without watching the films.
Coach Jana is gutted, with a shockingly small amount of blood coming out of her eviscerated stomach. But at the same time, Trish landed on Thorn’s back, throwing him over the floor. Meanwhile, Courtney crawls out from under the couch and attacks Thorn.
However, it’s the girl who wasn’t invited in the first place who is successful in cutting through his drill head with a machete (go figure), then chopping off his hand, slicing through his stomach, and throwing him in the swimming pool. It’s an awful slasher from the 80s.
You didn’t really think that the killer wouldn’t get to star in another jump-scare, did you? Thorn jumps out of the water and gets Valerie caught in a chokehold. Saving the day is the host herself, who distracts Thorn just long enough for Valerie to get hold of the machete, and the rest is–well–let’s just say it’s something that made me want to throw myself over the machete as Russ does.
