Light Up (2024) Documentary Review: Queerness as a form of expression and self-realization

Embracing one’s truth feels like something that should come naturally to a person. However, when you turn that idea to being a closeted queer person coming from a conservative society, doing just that feels like shifting breaks that have fallen all over you. In Ryan Ashley Lowery’s “Light Up,” we see five African-American individuals belonging to the LGBTQ+ community of Atlanta – a bustling group of successful queer people who recount their stories to truly help us revel in the experience of what it feels like to be living in a body with a hidden truth.

As a cis heterosexual man, queerness feels like a spectrum to me. While I have never been judgmental about how people identify themselves, I can’t claim that I understand everything. So, the reason why Ryan Ashley Lowery’s documentary feels important is because the filmmaker himself doesn’t claim to understand everything either. At one point in the film, Simone Tisci points out a mistake the filmmaker, who is also one of the interviewers, makes while addressing her. The moment is minuscule; it hardly matters because there are more important things to discuss here, but the fact that he did not feel like trimming that moment of embarrassment says a lot about just how sensitive the documentary is.

It wouldn’t be wrong of me to say this, but only a few years ago, gender conformity was such a strict norm that being queer and out was a luxury not everyone could have. While “Light Up” mostly looks at people who belong to the prosperous strata of life, it doesn’t shy away from confirming how hard it must have been for these people to grow up hiding their true identities, not just from their family and the society at large, but from themselves.

The documentary takes a look at the stories of Benjamin Carlton – a gay black man who also serves as a minister in a church, Simone Tisci – a transgender woman who was born a boy and who you might recognize from the Max show “Legendary,” Octavius Terry – famous athlete who transitioned into a designer in the later half of his life, Celebrity Hair Stylist Derek J – known for reality TV Show “Fashion Queen,” and Ohio Jones – a content creator who has made it his life’s mission to help people welcome queerness with open arms and with a dollop of humor.

The structure of the documentary, though, is pretty generic. We have the interviewees coming down to a safe space to talk to the interviewer. The documentary follows their formative years as a child, where they were never able to be their true self because of the pressures put on them by their family and friends, their faiths, and the fear of sticking out like a sore thumb. The talking head approach is either cut through with pictures that they have shared with the filmmakers or stock footage of the time that provides a sense of nostalgia.

The stories, though, are powerful. The one narrated by Carlton feels so moving because he confirms to the fears that are passed on to us by our parents. He tells us how he dived headfirst into being a key member of the church as he believed or was made to believe, that Jesus would help him get rid of his attraction towards men because the Church condemns homosexuality.

So, even though the documentary is never able to visually represent the traumas and triumphs of these individuals, it is able to progressively insinuate queerness as a form of expression and self-realization. Almost all of these people agree that they were only truly free when they accepted themselves. It didn’t just help them be who they have always been but also helped them move up in life and succeed. If not for anything else, this is a powerful portrait of self-love. And there’s no bigger love than that.