Molly Manning Walker’s “How to Have Sex” (2023), though on the surface looks like a brash display of teenage debauchery, subtly acknowledges the painful struggles of adolescence. Adulthood is the point where you have to exert significant effort to be happy. It does not come as effortlessly as it did before. Cinematographer Molly Manning Walker, who makes her directorial debut with this film, encapsulates that through the journey she subjects her teenage protagonist through. An endearingly brilliant Mia McKenna-Bruce’s Tara’s journey to ‘have sex’ takes us through a road of FOMO-addled, drunken delirium. That eventually reveals to be the cold and bitter road of disappointment, which is mostly adulthood. Very much like the film’s momentarily shown empty morning road that heralds hangovers and regrets.
How to Have Sex (2023) Plot Summary & Movie Synopsis:
It is “School’s Out” for underage teenagers Tara (Mia McKenna-Bruce), Skye (Lara Peake), and Em (Enva Lewis) as they embark on the journey of adulthood. Em, the more studious one, is going to college. However, there is uncertainty when it comes to Tara and Skye. Before the results are out, the three friends take another journey. A journey full of fun, clubbing, and Sex. Or that is what they hoped for when they landed on the Greek Island of Crete. Tara, who is a virgin, is especially under pressure to hook up, particularly from Skye, who does not miss a chance to remind her of her sexual status.
On the very first day, Tara encounters Badger (Shaun Thomas), who flirts with her, and she responds. Tara, Skye, and Em soon join Badger’s group in their reveling. Tara and Badger seem to hit it off well, but Skye seems to push Paddy (Samuel Bottomley), Badger’s friend, for Tara. In one of their clubbing adventures, Badger volunteers himself to a sexual game where women would please him till he gets aroused. Tara is a bit disheartened to see this and goes to the beach with Paddy instead. Tara, who did want to lose her virginity, feels compelled. Paddy does take Tara’s consent before penetration, but Tara does not seem to be too keen.
From that moment onwards, Tara’s and the film’s journey changes. Tara does not follow Paddy and comes back to their hotel, for more partying. Instead, she wanders amidst strangers, desperately seeking the happiness she had a few minutes ago. She meets another party of revelers and spends the night with them. Enjoying and happily succumbing to sleep. But this momentary happiness does not last for much as she grudgingly walks back to her own group.
She admits to Em and Skye about having sex with Paddy. The two friends, especially Skye, seem quite excited about that, but there is something amiss with Tara. She is not the same free-spirited party-enjoying girl she was when she wanted nothing more than to have sex. Tara tries to participate in subsequent party activities, but that is the thing. She seems to be ‘participating’ and not ‘enjoying.’ In addition, their results also get declared, and unsurprisingly Em does well. However, surprisingly Skye also passes, leaving Tara quite alone, who fails.
How to Have Sex (2023) Movie Ending Explained:
Did Paddy Force Himself on Tara?
If there is any doubt that Tara, despite mumbling verbal consent, was forced to have the first sexual encounter with Paddy, it would disappear when Paddy sneaked up to Tara’s bed the following night. After Tara returns from having sex with Paddy on the first night, she becomes noticeably detached from the revelries. The only time she seems to be herself is when Badger accompanies her as she refuses to go skinny dipping with the rest of the party. The following morning, Paddy would come back and try to snuggle beside the sleeping Tara. Paddy tries to initiate sex, but this time Tara is visibly not okay. Eventually, Paddy ignores Tara’s pleas and proceeds to rape her. Tara would eventually admit this to Em, saying she was mostly asleep when Paddy forced himself on her.
Did Skye Sabotage Tara and Badger’s Budding Relationship?
Skye, despite being a friend of Tara, did seem to sabotage Tara and Badger’s chances of hooking up with each other. Skye’s not-so-covert suggestions about Paddy and then revealing Tara’s virginity status to Badger (an attempt to decrease Tara’s chances) indicate that Skye seems to harbor a liking for Badger. Skye kind of took the leadership role when it came to having sex and partying. Perhaps she was affronted that Badger took notice of Tara first. In any case, Tara and Badger did seem to have genuine camaraderie, and Badger was respectful of boundaries; something we saw Paddy seriously lacking. It is fair to say Skye did her friend dirty when she could have been supportive. It would have stopped Tara from getting raped.
What compelled Tara to have sex with Paddy?
Although Tara seems to be giving consent on the night of her first sexual encounter, there is a significant subtext associated with that. After seeing Badger getting involved with other girls (for the game), Tara was understandably sad. The heartbreak, drunken stupor, and the relentless pressure of losing virginity sort of force Tara’s hand. And Paddy, in stark contrast to Badger, is someone who would take his chances without heeding much to the mood of the partner. And then there was a compulsion for Tara to have sex. The fear of missing out was strong with Tara as she constantly felt that she was the only virgin in her circle.
How to Have Sex (2023) Movie Themes Analyzed:
YOLO and FOMO
The modern Internet-savvy world is too familiar with these two words. YOLO, meaning “You Only Live Once,” and FOMO, meaning “Fear Of Missing Out,” have become two cultural cornerstones in the post-modern social-media-driven world. Both these words challenge the people to seize the day, which is not bad per se. But Social media, where everyone’s activities are available for everyone to see, with gross exaggeration perhaps, have made the “Seize The Day” environment quite competitive. It is that competition that makes Tara feel left out. The fear of ‘missing’ all the fun her friends are partaking in. It is that fear and the urge triggered by the reminders of having one life that often propels us to do things that we might not enjoy. Or do those things under the wrong circumstances, with the wrong person.
Teenage Sex, Consent, and Adulthood
“How to Have Sex” also highlights the hazy, blurred line of consent when it comes to teenage sex. Alcohol, peer pressure, and predatory moves could make a “Yes” mean “No.” Tara’s admission that she was mostly asleep means that her “Yes” was never the consent that Paddy should have taken into account. The film shows this by displaying the comparatively goofier Badger’s reaction when he simply excuses himself while letting Tara sleep. Tara’s sensation that something wasn’t quite right after her first encounter with Paddy expresses that the sex was not as consensual as one might think.
It is, after all, the difference between free will and coercion that makes sex the best feeling in the world to downright traumatic. In the end, Tara, who wanted to experience the former, realized that she had to live with the disappointment bordering on trauma. Disappointment is, after all, the gateway to adulthood.
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