If there’s one thing the Final Destination franchise has taught me, it ain’t a fan of Fugees. “Killing Me Softly” it does not. When the bastard comes, it comes with bloodthirsty revenge! All sadistic, all brutal, and all with some twisted sense of humor.
Piling up this list was both an easy and a hard task. I think placing them in order from least to best was rather difficult. Hence -and I might be, like our leads, cheating- why I like to see this list as my favorites one in the franchise, the ones that left an enduring impression on me right after the film concluded. As you will see, some managed to land here because of their execution, their level of fun and absurdity, how traumatic they were either for me or other people, and so on.
So without further ado, let’s kick this large chain of events off. And don’t forget to tell me what your favorites are and how you would rank them yourselves!
15. No one can’t touch me! – Final Destination 3
Starting up, we have one that I wouldn’t be surprised it has traumatized some gym bros/sis. But it’s also another example of the dark comedy that pervades this film. Basicall,y you got what flexing so much can get you in the Final Destination universe. You feel and see yourself as so invincible and it gets to your head and Death is like “K” and smash your head/brain’s out.
Fun fact: I thought they shoot this in a real gym but apparently it was all a set. Also there was almost an entire science behind having our man getting his head crushed, something not strange to the FD series where they have to look for ways to make the kill more believable.
14. Smashing crystal – Final Destination 2
Despite all the freaky deaths and whatnot, this will not stop Nora to drive her son to the dentist, because everyone knows there’s any place safer than a dentist. Of course, while Death fools around like the troll it is, ultimately our Tim boy meets his demise thanks to messing around with some pigeons. This is yet another kill that has a comedic element to it. The film truly embraces its ridiculous premise instead of the first film, and it does so not only through some of the dialogue but the kills themselves have this level of absurdity that are cool and gnarly. This is easy the most goriest of them all. What I also liked about this one was the build up. There’s all of these great red herrings in which the film keeps you in suspense, not knowing how things will go. Or better said, what way will things happen. How would this poor kid find its demise. Is it by chocking? Dentist drilling his mouth and him bleeding to death? Or electrocuted (we got killer liquid!).
13. Rollercoaster – Final Destination 3
Story time: I once went with my friend to this Fun Park center called Arcadas. Among all the stuff they had, there was this small, circular rollercoaster. Nowhere near as huge and intricate as this or the ones in Six Flags, etc. So I went in and got myself in the vehicle. All was good. Except when we get to this sort of Cave shaped located in the middle. What the vehicle did was going down, inside the cave and then speed out and did the same like three times in a row. Now you may be wondering, what’s the problem?
Well the problem was apparently I was too tall or something because we went down I legit thought my head was going to hit the top of the Cave shaped thing, ending with me at best a hit and massive headache, at worse get beheaded. So needless to say I yelled my way out of the rollercoaster. Luckily they did and I get to live another day. As for the kill here, apparently this was shot three nights in a row where the entire cast will be riding the rollercoaster for dozens and dozens of time to the point they had to sit in towels. But yeah, this was brutal stuff and a good way to kick off the film.
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12. Train to hell – Final Destination 3
Five months later, it appears all is fine. Our three survivors have killed death just like Kimberly and Burke. But the people in the test screening didn’t like that. So we got Wendy experiencing more omens while riding a subway train with her roommate Laura and her friend Sean. As Wendy is about to disembark, she suddenly reunites with Julie and Kevin, who have also boarded the same train. Wendy receives another premonition that the train will crash, killing everyone on board. Panicked, the three attempt to stop the train and it crashes as the film closes.
You now what? I kinda dug this. Apparently this was not the original ending and the film was meant to end with my man Ian getting killed and our three survivors just walking out of frame. Fin. But with this one I like how it all came back full circle with they dying in a fast track vehicle. Death has done these three times, each in every installment. First in Paris, then Clear being literally baptized by flames as she should have died in the first one and now Wendy and co. dying in the train. All in between have been random accidents but it’s like Death wants these survivors to die in some version of the same way they were meant to die initially. At least that seems to be the case so far.
11. Off the rail – Final Destination 6
Siblings Stefani and Charlie leave to tell another day, which in the FD universe, it means nothing really at least your name is Kimberly Corman. And that happens to be the case as we almost immediately learn Stefani just lose her conscious, therefore she never died. Whoops! Following probably the third entry in the franchise, there seems to be a rule in which the final kill must be as cool as the opening one. In a subtle or not so subtle way, what goes around, will come around as our protagonists meet their demise in a way that echoes back to the initial death. This one on the other hand -and I lowkey liked it because of that- plays like an amalgamation of things that came before. The short but cool part of them running away of the train (clearly a callback to the third) just to get killed by a log (freeway anyone?) and all caused by a goddamn coin (the opening). The way its shot, there was some good, fun-type tension as you didn’t know what will happen and I was lowkey on the edge of my seat. And then the whole thing with the log was, again, darkly comedic.
10. Bridge is falling down – Final Destination 5
Protagonist Saw Lawton and his friends head over a company retreatment where it Death hadn’t come for them, they would all die of boredom. And we all know that can be a torturous of saying Adieu, Goodbye, Auf Wiedersehen! For whatever reason despite all the warnings this may not be a safe bridge, our folks decide yet to pass through. In their defense many others do the same, which I don’t know, if it was me, I’d take another direction. Then again, maybe there was only that option. But you know the drill, the bridge collapses and what we got is yet another of the best opening kills in the franchise. After the goofy and very disappointing one in the previous entry, this one is pretty exciting as we see our leads trying to make it out alive. There’s a constant sense of peril that makes everything more thrilling. Death truly awaits at every corner, and like a cat with a mouse, this time our rag team isn’t confined and actually gets to try their best to survive, which other than one, none of those and they get impaled, smashed and decapitated. The CGI is both great and rough. Some things work, others like that ending with Sam’s body falling off to the screen as the credit plays looked like a bad dummy was coming my way. It was kind of laughable.
9. Killer electric stairs – Final Destination 4
Easily the best kill in the film and arguably one of the top best in the franchise. Boyfriend and Girlfriend Nick and Lori try to not get blown into tons of pieces when the whole mall goes kaboom! And call me a f—ed up individual, but there was this time this pretty popular small mall had its fate sealed when a pizza chain was installing themselves in the food court, but something went wrong and the place exploded with the theater which was next to it suffering major damages, the electric stairs also were damaged as well. It was chaos. The mall still lives and people like myself went, but its glorious days were over after that fateful day. Anyways, this kill. The whole thing was gnarly AF. That ending with Lori being dragged and pulverized was brutal. But maybe because the CGI or something, darkly comedic the way her body was left like a character who got smashed or run over in a cartoon would like, all flat.
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8. The pot – Final Destination
Professor Valerie Lewton is having it very rough, dealing with some major survivor’s guilt. Then one day when she’s trying to just chill at her house, in comes Alex doing a terrible job trying to not come off as a creep, which fails miserably. What she doesn’t know is that being stalked by a student would be the least of her problems.
So we got two kills in which liquid and fire is involved. Guess death was feeling wet and hot, amirite? But seriously, after two simple kills, this is probably the most creative of the bunch and the most brutal in the series. The whole Rube Goldberg set piece with the way how blood served as a fuel to drive the fire is something I’ve never seen before then or now. And doubling down with the stabbing. Up to this point, like I said, other than the opening with the plane, death has kept things very simple. Now, why did Death chose to get as brutal as it did with the poor teacher? Guess death has something against the school system?
7. Teddy and the laser beams – Final Destination 5
Olivia Castle is looking to start a new life without the needs of glasses, so she finally gets a LASIK eye surgery. Good for her. Except seeing how she survived and had two of her friends dying in a freaky way, you would think she will have second thoughts about it. But then again, many people in these movies aren’t the smartest people in the world.
The result? One the lowkey best (double?) kills in the franchise as she gets one her eyes burned, basically destroyed by those lasers. Not only the way Quale shoots the scene shoots the scene but MacInnes Wood performance makes the horror, the pain and overall the whole scene more effective. The punchline in the end with she actually dying by falling off the building, again, another of the good ironic twists the franchise has become known for.
6. What goes around, comes around – Final Destination 5
The best plot twists are the ones the film has been hinting at and you don’t pick up until you look back and start putting the pieces together. We get a reference to a log truck, a recurring classic rock song and many more clues – but for me at least, I never picked up on that not only because I wasn’t paying much attention, but knowing already what was going to happen and having seen the other films, the franchise is no stranger to get a little meta and call back to other films. Also I speak for many when we didn’t know this was meant to be a prequel, so again, you could easily discard these things as tongue-n-cheek references.
But no, it was the film spoiling us what was going to happen in the end. That cut away scene to Alex had me all giddy. I was like “Holy crap!”, but also screaming at the screen for Sam get off that damn plane. For some it would not make any sense he didn’t get to see all the clues and leave the plane, but remember, he thought he was saved. And how many times have people being kicked out of a place after they go nuts. But then we got all carnage candy, Sam getting cooked. The kill here was arguably even better than in the first one in terms of its execution and how it was shot.
5. Tan tan taaaan! FIRE! – Final Destination 3
Weeks later has passed, Death seems to just kicking off his murder streak, taking suckers one by one. The first in that list is bimbos Ashley and Ashlyn, who go for some tanning session as I am sure they had done for months, if not years now. But the moment we enter the place all red flags and signs alert can be seen and heard all over.
One thing this third entry has been blamed for is not being funny and taking itself serious. And you can use this as an evidence the opposite is true. So I always liked this one for how brutal and fun it is. Teenage me liked it for… ahem.. other reasons. But yeah loved the build up. Wong and Morgan once again uses music to signal a death, in this case “Love Rollercoaster,” which let me say it’s lowkey f—ed up, after surviving such a tragic event involving a rollercoaster they go around dancing and singing this particular song? Not sure, who’s more savage, these two bimbos or Death itself? Maybe we call this a team up… or a tied.
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4. Magnet dick, Iron head – Final Destination 6
So this happens pretty much in a span of seconds between each other and involving the same equipment so I am piling them together. Not sure, if that’s cheating, but that’s what it is. Brothers Erik and Bobby try to fool death Kimberly Corman style by killing Bobby and bringing him back to life. Here, I guess, we actually learn Kimberly is alive. Wished we got her in a cameo or something, hopefully next time. Anyways, our siblings go to all extremes and by that I mean having Bobby eating peanuts (which is he’s deadly allergic too) and using this MRI to bring him back to life or something.
But death ain’t having none of that s—t. And through some good ole Rube Goldberg piece, the magnet goes all the way to the top and well, you know, physics happen. Erik goes firsts by having all (I mean ALL) his piercings being ripped out of him with the one in his dick being the final blow (pun intended) as he gets sucked into machine and left in a gruesome position. The kill is both horrifying as you as a man felt the pain down under, even if you don’t have a piercing there. But that same reasoning behind his demise makes the kill darkly comical. Bobby then gets pushed into the machine and finds himself being drilled in his head until his head gets pulverized. Lots of pulverization here.
3. Set me on fire in the Falling Tower – Final Destination 6
Iris Campbell and her fiancé Paul attend the opening ceremony of the Skyview Restaurant Tower. My man wants for this to be a truly special day, but differently to other openings in the franchise where we take some time before Death starts throwing its bad omen, but here we already get some glimpses a few minutes into it with that “Ring of Fire” needle drop and from there all hell awaits to break loose as we have people skipping every rule in the book, fulling an elevator to its maximum capacity, elevator that’s already malfunctioning. Stupid kid dropping coins when he’s told not to.
What we ultimately have is arguably one of the best kills in the franchise. It’s too soon to say, but I’d probably right now place it in top 2 or 3 spot. Loved the way how everything went on and on, taking every apparatus in the building and used it as a killing machine. The bodies dropping, the piano, the elevator slicing. There was also a solid amount of tension, some thrills and some of that good ole’ FD cheeky humor. The CGI is a little rough but it wasn’t entirely distracting, sometimes adding to the charm.
2. Nailing the move – Final Destination 5
Promising athlete Candice Hooper is practicing like any other day, except this time things are about to get very heat. And not only because the AC is not working. Okay, Well. I mean, there’s a good argument to be made that this is the best fake out filled kill in the entire franchise up to this point. Loved the way director Steven Quale masterfully builds up the tension and suspense. Differently to other similar kills, the way our supporting cast member meets their demise has nothing to do with the thing the film has been teasing us, whereas here that small nail eventually has something to do with the kill, just not the way we were expecting. The way the body is left is simple yet so gnarly, I felt every fiber of my body shaken and that crack sound effect made the thing more effective.
1. Logging trauma – Final Destination 2
I mean, c’mon! It’s obvious this would take the cake as the best kill in the franchise. It has like everything! It’s gory, it’s grand, it’s horny, it’s intricately brilliant and hands down one of the most traumatic things ever in cinema. While we don’t get much loggings here on DR, we do have some terrifying large loading trucks. I remember very recently one was parked very close to this curve my uber took and I could have sworn if he had taken an inch closer we would all die by impalement. This sequel also has a stunt coordinator and second unit director, which also helps making this kill arguably the most action heavy. It’s scary but also cool and exciting, which from what I read, it was all intentional. The writers really wanted to turn Death into a badass. Also a lot of it was a blend of CGI and practical, and the final result is stunning, especially considering the technology at the time.
