Cocaine Bear (2023) Movie Ending, Explained: If you remember Elizabeth Banks’ nutcase Sal from Modern Family, you would see that Cocaine Bear is exactly what Sal would have made had she been underpropped by a big studio and had been held back by absolutely no amount of restraint. Jesse Tyler Ferguson’s grisly fate in the film also makes you wonder if Sal has been holding on to some bloody grudge toward Mitchell, and while that’s a funny thought in itself, Ferguson was most definitely in on the joke.
Banks’ bizarro slasher comedy is likely to be echoed for ages to come as a movie that knew exactly what it was supposed to achieve and did so with unparalleled gusto that launched near-perfect aftermath. Slyly evading the fetters of ambitious symbolism or any metaphoric message whatsoever, Cocaine Bear gives you exactly what you would want from a movie like this: bold-as-brass neurotic fun. And, of course, there’s a giant bear with a snowy snoot that is perfect for a blood-splattery comedy and a comic book (please?) because we can’t get enough of her mayhem-tinged shenanigans.
Cocaine Bear (2023) Plot Summary and Movie Synopsis:
Welp! You wouldn’t expect this from Matthew Rhys on a regular day. But this isn’t a regular ride you’ve agreed to get on. Your favorite Russian spy/detective is embodying the chaotic Andrew C. Thornton, the drug dealer who infamously dumped a massive amount of cocaine in the woods of Chattahoochee National Forrest in 1985. What Andrew is maniacally throwing down the plane is something that makes his erratic demeanor pretty self-explanatory. Coming up next is a wonky death you either didn’t see coming or hoped wouldn’t because you wanted more of Matthew Rhys on the screen. Alas! This is a tale of a lot of deaths. And kick-starting the death train is Andrew, bonking his head on the headboard and plummeting to his demise—poor dude.
Andrew and the wasted(?) cocaine belonged to a certain Syd White, a drug mogul played with a Goodfellas swagger by the fantastic Ray Liotta in his last film. Syd’s circumstances are salty enough, having to take care of his grandson Gabe in light of Syd’s son Eddie mourning the death of his wife. Moreover, the Colombians are likely to make him pay through his nose if he doesn’t get his go-to henchman Daveed to get a hold of Eddie and compel them to salvage the duffel bags full of cocaine. There’s a slight issue with that, by the way.
An unlikely critter has acquired a taste for the grade-a coke that she has stumbled onto in the forest. And it isn’t a skunk or a deer. It’s a massive black bear–yes, the kind that, according to the internet, you’re supposed to intimidate if you’re ever unfortunate enough to run into one. And if a coked-up apex predator roaming the woods didn’t make it hard enough to retrieve the rest of the stash, detective Bob is also on Syd’s trail. His trusted deputy Reba being in charge of sitting his fancy new dog Rosette makes it easy for Bob to venture out to try and capture the menacing drug lord once and for all.
Dopey Baloo And A Truckload Of Blood
I wouldn’t say that the Chattahoochee forest isn’t a nice place to think up baby names with your fiance. But somebody had to stop Olaf and Elsa from reproducing and naming their kid Texas. With this in view, the coked-up bear might just be a hero for squashing the possibility of a baby being born to these two by shredding Elsa limb to limb. Not too long after the first bloodbath, Sari’s rebel daughter Deirdre cuts class to go into the woods with her bestie Henry to paint the waterfall (whatever that means), and the two come across a brick of cocaine.
Hopeless in his crush on Deirdre, little Henry claims to be a regular cokehead. Having a tablespoon of coke each, the two kids come to realize that it isn’t as yummy as they had presumed. It’s rude to have a party without including the host. Or at least that’s what the bear believes when she jumps the two, sends a screaming Henry up a tree, and chases Deirdre into the woods.
Forest ranger Liz was all dolled up to make her move on Peter when Sari walked in after coming across the map in her daughter’s backpack. With their expected reluctance being overshadowed by the urge to demonstrate their heroics, Liz and Peter hark Sari’s concern and accompany her into the woods. It takes having to climb a tree with his clothes covered in cocaine for Peter to accept that the bear that haunts the woods is a tad nutty.
The animal lover was clearly dealt a bad hand when his day started. Being ripped open like a package by a bear on cocaine definitely isn’t something that Peter expected when he traipsed into the woods. Sari and Henry follow the trail left behind by the “smart girl” Deirdre and hike towards the waterfall while Liz goes back into her office and chalks up a plan for avenging her wrecked-up bottom.
Literally, Everyone Has Seen Better Days
Is being attacked by three teens, “doochamps,” worse than facing a bear? Daveed thinks this is the worst it can get when Stache and his buddies stab him and get knocked out. Of course, Stache ends up leading them to the gazebo, where he has been stashing the duffle bag full of cocaine. But how can anything go in favor of absolutely anybody in this film? Bob has already gotten his hands on the coke, and Daveed gets his fingers shot off when he fails to abide by his order.
The bear with whom Bob plays fetch is crashing yet another party looking for some more snow. The bear being gone does nothing to help Bob, who’s fatally shot in the stomach by none other than Syd, who has come to steal the show. You would think life would cut him some slack when he’s down, turning the gazebo roof red. But life has other plans for Bob. Not only does he take his last breath on duty, but he dies with the heartbreaking realization that Reba is a dirty cop who’s in Syd’s pocket.
The only one lucky in the group is Stache, who, once given a nudge to make a run for it, quickly forgets the friendship he’s come to form with Eddie on the walk. Daveed and Eddie are then made to follow Syd, who doesn’t give a toss about the possibility of being mauled to death by a very high bear. The rest of the cocaine is just that important.
What goes down at the park ranger’s station is perhaps something you wouldn’t think up in your wildest dreams. And neither did Stache’s two friends, one of whom accidentally gets his brain splattered all over the floor by the ranger who seriously needs a shooting lesson. Another gets himself decapitated and practically eviscerated by the bear.
If you’re to imagine Liz’s office as a glass of milk and the dead ones as the cookies sunken under, you may as well picture the paramedics who rush in as the cookies you send in to rescue their fallen brethren. Will they accomplish what they were assigned to do? Unlikely. Will they emerge unbroken and victorious after their failed mission? Doubtful. Never has any one of them ever thought that a bear could outrun an open-throttle ambulance, let alone kill every unfortunate person in it.
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Cocaine Bear (2023) Movie Ending Explained:
What Becomes Of The Cocaine Addict Bear?
The near-sincere satire radiating from Keri Russell’s subtly hilarious Sari is what tickles your bones the most in the narrative, fuelled by sporadically slapstick situational comedy. Dropping sudden bombs of wholesome mother energy amid an otherwise peculiar string of events makes everything Sari says and does come off as an odder phenomenon than every other bizarre element.
Guess who’s alive and is happy to show Sari to her daughter’s hideout in the woods? That’s right. It’s Olaf. Being completely out of it while leading her to the cave where Deirdre has taken shelter, Olaf doesn’t know if he wants to join them or not. And seeing as the bear takes his face as a pre-dinner snack, he should’ve stuck around with the badass mother. Deirdre isn’t alone in the cave. Keeping her company are two adorable cubs who have followed in their mom’s footsteps and gotten addicted to the coke.
By the time Sari has gone out to the other side with Henry and Deirdre, Syd has arrived with his minions to claim what’s his. Sacrificing two fingers in the losing battle has opened Daveed’s eyes to Syd’s obnoxious demands. He stands in Syd’s way and guards Reba as she gets to the point of “enough is enough.” But Syd is unfaltering in his obsession to retrieve the cocaine even when he hears the bear coming.
Sari quickly concludes that she wants no part of it and plunges into the waterfall with the two kids. Seeing as there’s no hope for Syd, who’s relentlessly attempting to unfasten the bag stuck on a log, Daveed and Eddie follow suit and jump in. Two shots are fired from Syd’s aggrieved rifle. One grazes Daveed’s shoulder and makes him scream bloody murder, and the bear eats another.
You didn’t expect that Syd would take flight after that, did you? He keeps on prodding at the bag only to shower pounds of cocaine on the unconscious bear, vivifying her to bring forth his own vicious end. Well, at least the cubs get a decent meal out of him. Speaking of snacks, Rosette gets to chomp on Daveed’s severed fingers when Eddie and Gabe adopt her. What happens to Stache, you ask? I guess Banks found him a bit too adorable to kill off.
Not only does he make it and walk out a hero, but he has also secured a bag full of cocaine for himself. Hitch-hiking his way home, Stache is smart enough to take the bag away from the herd of sheep in the back of the van. Nobody wants coked-up sheep when they’ve experienced a loopy bear firsthand. Unlike the bear from the real story, who overdosed on cocaine and died a sad death, this story’s bear is likely to live a long, intoxicated life with her cubs. And she certainly isn’t done chomping on the prying hikers.
