Premiering at this year’s Fantasia International Film Festival, “I Live Here Now” is a hellish, fever-dream-like trip. In her feature debut, writer-director Julie Pacino (Al Pacino’s daughter, just in case you are wondering) has chosen to explore the labyrinths of human psychology and memories. Comparisons with David Lynch’s works, specifically “Inland Empire,” are inevitable.
Admittedly, “I Live Here Now” pulls its punches and remains a little more rooted to ‘reality’ than what “Inland Empire” did. Whether that is for the good or the bad, it depends entirely on whether you find Lynch frustratingly impenetrable or bizarrely brilliant. I tend to veer towards the latter while appreciating the frustration mentioned in the former. So, as someone who does not mind an occasional nightmare, “I Live Here Now” just about works for me.
Like “Inland Empire,” “I Live Here Now” centers around an actress and her bid to play a role. Rose (Lucy Fry) is an aspiring actress who finally gets the chance to audition for a meaty role. However, things do not turn out well for her. She becomes pregnant, which is something she thought she could never be due to a surgical procedure done to her when she was a child. Her boyfriend, Travis (Matt Rife), who is the father, asks her to get an abortion. Travis’ mother, Martha (Sheryl Lee), is particularly adamant about that. The bruises around the eyes of Travis indicate that Martha is not averse to using force against her son.
Of course, a baby derails Rose’s dream as well. So, she decides to get an abortion. But without the unsolicited supervision of Martha. That takes her to a clinic on the outskirts of the city. She checks into a strangely decorated hotel. Thus begins her journey that would have her traverse the web of her repressed memories and emotions.
At this juncture, Pacino’s script starts to blur the line between what is real and what is surreal. For instance, it is implied that Rose’s meeting with the casting director and her pregnancy are real. So are the dangers she is facing from Travis and Martha. However, from the moment she walks into that mysterious hotel, Rose possibly leaves the realm of tangible reality.
The hotel is implied to be a fortress that Rose has built upon her trauma, inflicted on her by her mother. “I Live Here Now” has an undercurrent of motherhood gone awry. Like David Lynch’s exploration of unwanted fatherhood in “Eraserhead,” Pacino explores the darkness that could be born out of unwanted motherhood.
Both Rose’s mother and Martha are shown to be ruthless towards their offspring. Ensnaring and controlling every aspect of their child’s life. So, when the hotel springs a villain in the form of Lillian (Madeline Brewer) into Rose’s journey, it could very well be the culmination of Rose’s two ‘motherhood’ problems – her mother and the fact that she is on the verge of becoming one.
Right from the production design to constructing the scenes, Pacino has been liberal in incorporating Lynch’s style. The fact that she cast Sheryl Lee (as Martha), the face of “Twin Peaks,” is a clear declaration of her appreciation for the maverick surrealist filmmaker. Despite borrowing the structure of the labyrinth, Pacino has layered and decorated it with her own hallucinatory turns and passages.
Thus, “I Live Here Now” remains a competent homage, with just about enough leniency to not become quite the impenetrable challenge that Lynch’s “Eraserhead” or “Inland Empire” was. Understandably, true Lynch fans might not appreciate that. However, Pacino’s relatively smaller doses of surrealism could work well for the audience who are generally averse to Lynchian undoing of reality.
The performance by the film’s cast is one of the virtues of “I Live Here Now.” To be specific, Lucy Fry’s (from MGM+’s “Godfather of Harlem”) excellent lead performance carefully guides us through the nightmare, despite her character going through a traumatic hell. Her Rose, while trying to make sense of everything that is happening to her, proves to be a semblance of accessible reality. She keeps the film from spiralling down while navigating the blurry lines of ‘reality.’ An impressive turn that is well supported by the likes of Brewer, Sarah Rich (portraying the mysterious hotel attendant), Rife, and Lee.
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