Based on the 2016 novel by Iain Reid, “I’m Thinking of Ending Things” (2020) follows a couple, Jake and a young woman, as they travel to the countryside to meet Jake’s parents. The young woman, whose name keeps changing throughout the film, is contemplating ending her relationship with Jake. As a result, she constantly feels that agreeing to this trip is a bad idea. Throughout the film, several bizarre events occur, such as the ever-changing identity of the woman, the constantly changing wardrobe, the rapid aging of Jake’s parents, and the appearance of a mysterious janitor. But we don’t get any clear answers in its entire runtime. In this article, I will attempt to answer these questions, so please bear with me until the end.
From the beginning of the film, scenes of a mysterious and old school janitor are intercut with the main narrative. We see him getting ready for work, watching students rehearse the musical Oklahoma! and watching a romantic comedy. The janitor first appears in the scene where the young woman is waiting on the street for Jake to arrive. In this scene, we see him gazing upon the woman from his apartment. The next time he appears is during the car ride to Jake’s parents’ house. This time, he is seen getting ready for work. During this scene, we notice a swing set in front of his house—the same swing set the woman notices when they pass a dilapidated house.
From this evidence, it becomes clear to the audience that the janitor has some kind of connection to the main characters. When Jake starts the car’s music, a song from Oklahoma! plays. Jake then recalls seeing kids rehearsing it. In the next shot, we see the janitor watching the schoolkids rehearse the same scene. This further implies that the janitor is known to Jake—or, in fact, that he is Jake’s other self.
From finding the janitor’s clothes in the basement washing machine at Jake’s parents’ house to the janitor working at the same school where Jake studied, everything indicates that the janitor and Jake are the same person. The entire plot of the film is his imagination, playing out in his head. In reality, the janitor is socially awkward, unattractive, and lonely. He longs for someone to love him. At his job, he sees young and beautiful women—perhaps he doesn’t even know their names. Their names could be Lucy, Lucia, Louise, or Amy. As an object of desire, the janitor creates the young woman in his subconscious and gives her every possible identity. Each time a revelation occurs, the woman’s identity changes. Not only her identity but also her wardrobe, occupation, and even the story of how she and Jake first met shift throughout the film.
If we closely examine the family gathering scene, this concept becomes clearer. Upon reaching the farmhouse, they gather for dinner. During this scene, while Jake seems a bit distant from his parents, the young woman bonds with them effortlessly. When asked about her occupation, she joyfully states that she is a painter and shows them her paintings on her phone. This whole scene implies that while the janitor/Jake is not close to his parents, he desires a girlfriend who can easily blend in with them. In another moment, she is seen taking the plates to the sink after dinner. This is another of Jake’s fantasies—he desires a woman who would help the old couple with their homemaking.
However, as a human being, the janitor cannot completely suppress his past experiences from intruding upon his imagination. His difficult experiences with his parents surface from his subconscious, threatening his fantasy. In one scene, the young woman is taunted by Jake’s father, who comments that Jake’s childhood bedroom is too small and that it isn’t advisable to have intercourse on such a tiny bed. Later, when she is handed a ruined nightgown to wear, Jake’s mother rudely tells her to go to the basement and wash it.
Also Related: Download the Script of I’m Thinking of Ending Things
However, the woman is not the only element of the janitor’s imagination—his parents are also part of it. This is why they appear to age rapidly from one scene to the next. He desires love and affection from his parents as well, despite their dysfunctional nature. So, he imagines them at different stages of life—young and full of vitality, then old and destitute, counting their last days. And in each situation, his reactions toward them change.
When it is revealed that Jake and the woman met at a trivia night, his mother says they play the “genius edition of Trivial Pursuit.” Jake, irritated, corrects her: “genus.” In another scene, when his mother refers to it as the “genus edition,” Jake corrects her by saying “genius edition.” In the first scene, Jake’s mother is middle-aged; in the other, she is old and in a wheelchair. This moment implies that Jake/the janitor wants to care for his mother in her old age, and his correction is a reflection of that. Similarly, Jake’s story about how he met the woman changes. During dinner, she says they met at a bar, but in another scene, the description shifts. Since Jake’s father is a fan of romantic comedies, Jake/the janitor tells him the exact scene from a romantic comedy he watched on television, presenting it as their first meeting.
The janitor’s arc and the couple’s arc intersect in the third act. Jake takes the woman to his high school, and while they are getting intimate, he senses that the janitor is watching them. To confront him, Jake enters the school building. The janitor watches young women at school, observing their rehearsals or interactions with their partners. As mentioned earlier, his past experiences intrude upon his fantasies. Since Jake is the janitor’s alter ego, he begins to perceive himself as a pervert when he finally “gets the girl.” As an act of self-loathing, he leaves the woman in the car and goes inside the school building.
When Jake doesn’t return, the woman follows him into the building and encounters the janitor. When she asks about Jake, the janitor responds by asking what he looks like. She cannot remember Jake’s face because the janitor/Jake created her persona in his subconscious. Thus, she only knows what Jake/the janitor allows her to know. The janitor is an ordinary-looking man who perhaps loathes himself for not being attractive. Thus, he never allows his imagination to see his true self. Despite failing to describe Jake, the janitor assures her that Jake must be safe in the school. She accepts this, embraces him tightly, and, at that moment, the janitor’s final unfulfilled desire—human affection—is realized.
“I’m Thinking of Ending Things” is a film about loneliness and the fantasies of unfulfilled desires. The janitor is old, lonely, and depressed. He desires an ideal life, where everything is picture-perfect. He wants to be the hero of his own story, with a young woman by his side. Thus, he imagines multiple scenarios in which he is attractive, well-educated, and socially confident. He assigns his imaginary partner the identities of all the women he has ever come across. This is why the woman is referred to by various names and occupations—Lucy, Louise, Lucia, Amy. External stimuli also influence these changing identities. In one scene, the janitor watches a romantic comedy in which the female character is named Yvonne. In the next scene, everyone refers to the young woman as Yvonne. At one point, her face even changes to that of the actress from the film.
Ultimately, the ever-changing identity of the woman reflects the janitor’s repressed desires. Perhaps, in his lonely existence, this is the only way he can feel like he matters.
